Bringing Angels to their Knees
by Randomnormality
Summary: Chaos. Castiel, Angel of the Lord, is thrown through the Gates of Purgatory and finds himself in a different reality where supernatural creatures don't exist. What happens when he meets two (insane) women that offer to help him get back to his world? Chaos happens. Crack-fic, sadistic humor


**Bringing Angels to their Knees**

**By: Randomnormality and winterfellsfallenangel**

**Summary:**

**It was just another night for two best friends as they closed up the liquor store for the night. They never expect to find their wine stock practically empty of its contents and a man claiming to be an angel responsible for drinking it. What starts as a stir-fry of craziness when two, crazy humans try to help the Angel back to his own world (full of demons, witches and other nightly creatures), Kerian Sandnes and Kyra Hart are pulls into a wild ride that they may or may not be taking seriously.**

**Author's Note:**

**Winter and I both got to talking one night, and for some reason, this idea popped in our heads. We decided to just...run with it. This is a crack-fic, thrown with insane humor, perverted tendencies and yes, there will most likely be blood (Kerian suffers from anger issues and Kyra is insane). Both OC's are of our own creation, and will most likely include odd elements. Winter has a fascination with Sam, I love Dean, but we both ADORE Castiel...so...who knows the craziness that will come.**

**Warning to those who dare post flames. Let's start off by telling you that you will receive a big 'Fuck You' from Winter and I. This is just something fun and is written to amuse ourselves with. Just so you guys understand, this is set after Purgatory, and Castiel is sent to the 'real' world, where angels, demons and the lot don't exist, so Castiel has no way of juicing up his grace, so he's...pretty human.**

**Enjoy! Love it! Laugh insanely!**

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**Chapter One**

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It was a clear fall night in the small town of Lemoyne, PA. Local stores were closing for the night and it was nothing normal for the liquor stores to have a few stragglers looking for last minute booze.

"We will be closing in five minutes. Please make your purchases and have a safe and wonderful evening." A woman's voice said dryly over the intercom of the store.

Kerian Sandnes places the phone back on the receiver, running a hand through the bangs of her red-streaked black hair. Her light hazel eyes glances over the stragglers remaining in the store as they bring the last of their purchases to the counter. Mild amusement fills Kerian as she hears the over-exaggerated greetings from behind her own register.

The overly-cheerful brunette behind Kerian swipes a credit card with an easy flourish of her finger-less gloved hand. Kyra Hart, only two years younger than herself, was most likely certifiably insane. Even from where Kerian stands, she can see the sarcastic gleam flickering through her friend's green-grey eyes as she wishes the last of the customers a nice night.

Locking up the doors to the store, both girls start down the liquor isles to take the final stock for the night.

"Thank God for closing time!" Kyra said happily to her closing mate. "Now we can get the fuck out of here and do something worth while!"

Kerian nodded in agreement. "So what _are_ we gonna do? The clubs around here suck ass, the bars as just as bad, there aren't any decent guys around to do fun stuff with without getting drugged and the closest thing to fun around here is Wal Mart." Kerian said with a sad sigh while wiping down the counter top.

"Wow, dude, way to be a downer. I didn't think it was so lame around here." Kyra said, sarcasm painting her words. "We need some excitement around here." She said with conviction as she Captin Morgan'd the nearest box. "We will go ghost hunting!"

Kerian stared at her blankly for a few moments before falling onto her knees in a fit of laughter. "Ghost hunting?! Seriously?! That sounds like a great idea!" She said trying to get a hold of herself. "You should seriously see yourself right now, you look ridiculous." She said heading towards the wine cooler. "C'mon help me make sure all the wine is here."

Kyra giggles in a slightly insane manner as she hops off the box and follows her friend into the large wine cooler. On their way to the cooler they heard a thudding sound, followed closely by the sound of glass breaking. Both of them stop in their tracks, sharing a glance before simultaneously looking in the direction of the cooler.

"I swear to God if you attracted ghosts here simply by stating you wanted to hunt them I will end you myself." Kerian said to her friend as they each tense, preparing to face whatever caused the sound.

"You know that would awesome! We could tell the state and they..."

"Would think we were crazy and put us in the nearest asylum," Kerian states, grinning at her friend's hyperactive charisma.

"That would be fun. Padded walls in the bedrooms. Custom-made white jackets that let you hug yourself. Drugs served three times a day at breakfast, lunch and dinner," Kyra laughs out right as they approach the wine cooler. "I even kept that white, self-embracing jacket."

"Now lets just make sure everything is there and go find something to do afterward." Kerian said to Kyra as she opened the door.

What they see before them was something they would have a hard time explaining to the state. There in the middle of the room was a man sitting with roughly 24 empty bottles of wine around him. His ebony hair seemed as though it had never seen a brush. Impossibly blue eyes glanced around the room as though he was lost. He was wearing a poorly thrown together suit with a light tan trench coat on. He looked horrible, like someone killed his cat or stole his car.

Carefully the girls proceeded with caution. Kyra took the left side while Kerian took the right to flank him.

"You have nothing to worry about." The man said to them as they approached, pulling himself to his unstable feet. "I am an angel of the lord." He said looking side to side to see the two women coming at him.

"Right." Kerian said in disbelief. "If you are what you say you are, prove it." She said slowly walking closer to the crazy man with a box cutter in hand just in case she needed to use it.

"If they made angels as sexy as you, then I would be praying every damn day!" Kyra said breaking some tension, a maniacle grin tugging at her lips, despite the odd situation.

Kerian stopped in her tracks looked at Kyra then back at the angel. "I concur." She said putting the box cutter away. "So why the drinking Mr...?"

"Castiel." Is all he said taking another swig of the wine. "And the drinking is because my father has abandoned me." He said sadly taking yet another swig.

"Join the club. We have a nice set of white jackets." Kyra said looking around him then seeing the empty vodka and whiskey bottles. "Holy shit! How the hell are you.. Right angel, very high tolerance I imagine."

Castiel nodded. "I am sorry if I have inconvienced you two, but the fate of the world as we know it is on the fringe."

Kerian nodded. "Right... If you have not noticed we are not in the middle of a plight against evil, things have been pretty normal." Kerian said dispose of the empty bottles looking at Kyra. "We are SO fired."

Kyra smirks, "Burn baby. Burn." Kyra's carefree mannerisms pulls a snort from her friend, before the brunette tilts her head, taking in the man's haggard appearance, "So, what do you think we should do with him? We can't really leave him here. I'm afraid if we do that, there won't be any booze left in the store by morning."

Kerian nods in agreement, "So...Castiel, was it? Do you think you know anyone you are able to get in contact with?"

Castiel shakes his head somberly, "My friends must not be in an area with good cellular service."

"You can come home with us!" Kerian shoots her insane friend a look of disbelief, causing the brunette to shrug, "Hey, I want to get the fuck out of here. He can crash on the couch..." Kyra pauses, looking over the man's handsome features once more, "Or he could, I don't know, sleep with me?"

Kerian watches the man's head tilt in a curiously confused manner, "Fine, but remember what happened to the last stray you picked up."

Kyra giggles with gleeful insanity, "This one will be taken well care of. Come on, Angel-boy, you are welcome to stay at our place until you can figure out how you ended up in our wine cooler."

"You two are quite generous for humans," Castiel states as he pulls himself to his feet, "May I inquire as to what your names are?"

"Kerian Sandnes, but you can just call me Kay," the ebony-haired woman states with a mild wave.

Her other companion grins widely, once again oblivious to the odd situation, "I'm Kyra Hart. Everyone calls me Ki-Ki, or Hart...or Crazy."

Twenty minutes later, the two friends stare down at the comatose man sprawled across their sofa. Hearing the mutters of demons, witches, and traitors, the two girls share a glance. Kerian shrugs unknowingly.

"Don't look at me. For all we know, he escaped the nearest asylum," she suggests.

Kyra tilts her head, looking over the man once more, "I don't know, Kay. People don't go around spouting off bullshit about being an 'Angel of the Lord', and you know just as much as I do that demons and witches don't exist. Ghosts, maybe, but demons and that other shit is pushing it."

"Since when did you become logical?" Kerian teases.

Kyra snorts, tilting her head up as though she was a socialite in high society class, "I have my moments of clarity. Why don't you break out some of the malt drinks and we'll chill."

Kerian glances over her friend's face sympathetically, "You aren't going to get any sleep tonight, are you?"

Both women, having known each other for a few years, carried their own baggage in life. While Kerian suffered from manic-depressive tendencies, Kyra suffered from long bouts of insomnia. Both of them break open the bottles of their malt liquors and clink their bottles together in a silent toast to whatever thoughts were running through their heads.

Neither of them knew that tonight was just the beginning of a life-long adventure.


End file.
